You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
My piss changed color midstream. Think that means I have a 50/50 chance of passing the test?
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
You can't use the, "think about your future" line when trying to convince me to save some weed for tomorrow.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I never forget a pussy, even blackout me gives me that memory.
I may have just masturbated while on hold with the IRS. don't judge me
I'm allotting you four buildings to piss on tonight. Choose wisely.
How ya feelin' champ?
Like a million bucks that was soaked in alcohol.
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
