I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
A guy at the bar bought me a jag bomb because I'm the chick that frosts his donuts at KT. Never have I been more proud of being a failure at life.
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
She just spat tequila at me... Like a fountain... A broken fountain
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
IF IT WALKS LIKE A MANWHORE AND QUACKS LIKE A MANWHORE, HE PROBABLY HAS VD.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I feel like Jeremy snapchattong while we're fucking is a perfect example of our generation..
I am the only person I know ever to have been brought TO the bar in the back of a cop a car. Twice.
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
lost my vibrator and now I have to masturbate manually. The struggle is fucking real.
Okay so I just had a really great idea
no.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
Randomize
