I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
I just got a standing ovation when i made it to work on New Years Day. good thing?
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
i woke up with my wallet keys and phone missing and a treasure map to find them stapled to my shirt.
haha i know
It's times where you wake up in the hospital after trying to road surf that you wonder what you're doing in life.
I did my walk of shame through a safeway at 8am to get YOUR hangover bagels. You're welcome asshole
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
He's a waste of a perfectly good penis.
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
Randomize