So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
Man, ugly runs in her family
yeah, big time
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I have decided to cut my hair. This is based solely on the fact there is too much of it to clean vomit out every Sunday afternoon.
I imagine my 13 hours of sleep after my 3 day upper bender was similar to Jesus rising from the dead.
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He sent me a picture of his dick with a cowboy hat on it.
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
i just keep picturing us drunk surrounded by kittens.
He spent $1100 at a strip club. If I had that kind of disposable income, I'd make a cocaine sandcastle.
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
My dick looks like crazy bread
pics are now mandatory
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
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