I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
i mean ive seen your left buttcheek how much more bro can this get
Let me call you later. I’m lining up some office dick now that working at home is ending
Randomize
