i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
You challenged yourself to walk backwards all the way to the bar... And you did
I just mistook cooking oil for the whiskey that was also on the counter... They're the same colour. That was not a good shot... I need to not drink alone.
Thanks for having me and my emotional baggage over last night.
Today is a spill-drugs-all-over-myself kind of day.
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
I'm just waking up. I awoke in a towel (I must have showered at some point),i also found a half eaten McChicken in my bed and vomit in the toilet. Seems like I'm winning at life
My books smell like weed. What does that tell you about my college experience?
Thumbs up
Lessons learned from last night: do not leave me drunk and alone with strippers and a credit card. Let's do whatever's cheaper.
Randomize
