So drunk, too bad you don't want this
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
Your dad needs a mid life crisis affair thing, I could totally be that girl.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
You looked at me, said I was a nice guy. Then you drunkenly climbed on top of me and said you liked me and wanted me.
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Randomize
