What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
before you smothered your pizza in mayo you blotted it with a napkin saying you were trying to watch your fat intake
Do you remember using the heel of your shoe as a shish kabob stick? You offered me some chicken, but I declined.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
HAPPY AIDS-LESS FOURTH OF JULY YOU HEALTHY FUCK
Oh goddamn. That a super downer Tuesday reality right there. Just hit me with the cold, hard, nasty facts.
a guy messaged me on POF to ask if I knew of any places that were hiring. And was being completely deadass serious. I'm so done
I'm still here... I feel so bad wearing your mom's cardigan at a strip club 🙈
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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