Skip Greektown and come to Geektown. I just want to cuddle.
She kept saying I was her favorite Jonas brother, and for some reason, I was ok with that.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Funny how the post-sex UTI lasted longer than the entire relationship.
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Im drinking a CAN of bud light at the bar. Do you really think I care anymore?
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