6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
You act like I'm friends with her or something. I only screw her boyfriend!
Oh yeah.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I've got to stop making out with the guys and sharing drinks with you. I'm the reason we all get sick at the same time. Sorry.
yeah, but the first step is admitting you have a problem, the next step is kidnapping him
Remember how I haven't seen my step sister in like 7 years? Pretty sure I just made out with her...
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I have just gotten home. I saw a lot of penis tonight. On a trampoline. Shit got weird.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
he stopped talking to me, quit his job, moved out of the province and then told me it was "no big" when I called him apologizing...
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
i was too drunk before they even got here. i took all their phones instead of keys and hid them in the freezerr...im an awesome party host.
Come cuddle! I'll be passed out somewhere in the library. It'll be like a scavenger hunt!
Randomize
