elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Smoked all day yesterday and even more today. Just survived high dinner with mom and sister. Thought I might eat the whole table
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Is it acceptable to cry on a Friday or am I supposed to drink to forget it?
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
1. My arms are cement 2. I wish dogs could answer the phone
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
Woke up with a padlock locked onto my ear gauge and the first of many sticky note clues on my chest leading to the key.
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
My manager caught me going taking a nap in an empty room. Apparently she sleeps there too.
Um I got a ride home from the bar with two random boys and one tried to bang me on my parents riding mower
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
Randomize