So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
Okay, I have a threesome with foreigners and suddenly I'm a man-whore
My t9 writes chubies instead of bitches.
either way. win, win.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
She's passed out laying in the middle of the street. Cars are honking at her and going around her body. We need to stop playing BONECRUSHER.
Let's knock shit down like godzilla and have intense sex in the rubble
I'm high. ignore me
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I can't believe the police had to bring me to my booty call last night
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
I have to stop at Sheetz to put my bra back on before I meet you hold on
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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