Should I feel badly because I just bought a really hot pregnant girl a drink after I lit her cigarette?
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
the worst part is we had a camera rolling
Did his mom notice it when she saw u guys?
Yes.
I have to watch that.
I walked into the garage and you were telling the bikes that you were not that drunk.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
She tried doing a backflip and ended up doing somersaults down the entire stair case.
I just wanted to personally thank you for throwing clementine slivers at me across the room while we made out
Like I wasn't going to make out with the hot Australian sitting next to me at the Portland blazer game?
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
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