Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
I just smelled my beer. It smells like coming home.
The bender is in full force. After 2 bloody mary's at breakfast we are now drinking vodka redbull "as a precaution" so we will stay awake for the club tonight.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
i have only one word for you: 3somewithnorwegiangirls
I can'nr wwn explain this nihght . So amnt dixks. Shitttttt.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
Maybe I'm just didn't notice and imagined a different penis as a Freudian coping mechanism?
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
