And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
that was probably me. ive bitten a lot of people.
Im tired as fuck but i cant leave him here like this i gave him the acid and i feel the responsibillity to put his mind back together its fun im an architect about to about to construct a whole new belief and moral system inside this soul. Talk about the best psychothearpy
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
in the future when you find clothing in your street, just assume it's mine.
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
I mean it was fine and all but I just don't understand why a man would need all that Simon Cowell paraphanelia
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
I just woke up and my ass is covered in honey and my eye brows are shaved off.
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Come by so you can take a pregnancy test with me. It's like my monthly ritual!
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