i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
that's why i use the vibrator in the tanning bed. multitasking. plus then my rooms doesnt know how pathetic of a life i lead.
'Twas I. Do you have any idea what it's like waking up to see you sent a text inviting someone to partake in "sexy rumpus?"
Yes, he made a MIX CD for our booty call...
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I need to ask my mom where the drain cleaner is, but I'm afraid she'll ask why and the answer to that will just be "cum."
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
Do you think next time you could control the yawn? Kind of a buzzkill to be mid-orgasm and see you yawning over there.
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
That's the 3rd guy I've made pass out from a bj. I may have super powers.
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize