ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
I think it is impossible 2 take a person seriously when their last name is Pancake
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
Of course I have to cross through a walk for hunger
i love how you just walk into that dealer's house every time without knocking, yet you don't even know his name
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
If you wake up, and some of your hair is singed off, it probably has something to do with the lit cigarette you put in your hair. You said it could double as a bobby pin...?
On a scale of one to ten how bad is it that the first cardio I've done in months is jogging to the bars?
I'll just go with dedication.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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