i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
We decided I could make bicurious-jitos or ho-meh-jitos or heteroflexible-jitos. But not homojitos.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
#1 lesson to be learned from mardi gras this year: lock your car doors or some grimy dude like me might just bang in it and use your backseat as a kleenex
This is simple. Just sex and high fives. No feelings.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
THERES A BEAVER CHASING ME, ANGRY BEAVERS IS FUCKING REAL DUDE
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
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