i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
it looked like a condom graveyard when i woke up. they were everywhere
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
hot twin vs twin who's good in bed. why do my life choices same way unfair
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
she woke me up with a blowjob, mickey mouse pancakes, a mugshot of my ex in county jail, and tequilla. Do you know if she fucked someone behind my back or did i win the vagina lottery?
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
You motherfucker. I just had an MRI with a penny under my boob.
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
Randomize
