I want the hot one, scratch that. anyone.
Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
Please don't tell anyone I peed on your wall.
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
