Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
My dad got me a charm braclet....his way of trying to support my gayness....
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
You were crying and singing wanted dead or alive while trying to eat cold soup, I think that pathetic is an understatement
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
Either my apartment is haunted or I'm far more drunk than I thought
well we woke up in different beds than the ones we originally fell asleep in, you were butt naked, and your boyfriend was sleeping on a cot in the middle of the kitchen. that might be why he's mad.
Someone sitting next to me at this football game is totally eating chicken nuggets out of his pocket and drinking four loko. I wanna be him.
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