The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
You can't motorboat a personality
Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
I feel more comfortable going down on her then actually kissing her.
It really went downhill when you started writing IOU on pieces of napkins. Giving them to the strippers
Real life dumb and dumber
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Randomize
