I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
sarcasm needs its own font
Day 3. Will have to postpone job hunting by a month. May have blown out my knee. Was sunburned on Friday. Now look painted red. Still alive. All worth it.
i lnow ive slrrwsdy teted you this. but goddamn girl on tv is a good song
Well, she's officially disappointed in me. I have it writing.
The amount of alcohol I'm going to consume on my birthday is directly proportional to the amount of shit I've had to put up with this past year. Which is a lot.
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
In hindsight, I probably should not have let the waiter give me a chiropractic adjustment on my neck last night.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
If a cop comes up to me I'm whipping out my cock, swinging it around and singing the national anthem
I really need to stop sending pussy pics if I'm going to be running for state representative in November
i out mim tonsoeep
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