I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Theres a disney princess moonbounce on karen st. and I'm drinking beer at a little league field. this might end with me in jail.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
I've been drinking vodka for the last 12 hours at the beach and can't see straight and have awesome hair.
LIFE IS #1 SOMETIMES
From the same High Brittany who brought you such thoughts as, "Fuck, am I wearing shoes?" Comes High Brittany on a date! Stay tuned. This will be interesting.
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
He was about to go in...and he fell off the bed. Ruined mood!
Came up to an intersection and someone was blasting My Chemical Romance at like 9 AM. They're DEFINITELY having a good day
Fuck your bullshit loser kid and his gluten allergy.
She was a cheerleader in college and President of her sorority and now she’s a sales rep for a pharmaceutical corporation. “High maintenance hot” doesn’t even begin to explain it
But dear lord is it worth it
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