sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
These people keep looking at me like I'm the first person to ever eat ribs in a Home Depot.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
I snapchatted his face mid sex. Needless to say, I don't think I'll ever see him again.
Walked in on my roommate covering his dick in blue frosting. Am staying with my folks for the Forth. See you Monday if the brain bleach works.
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
He said I was so drunk and high that I had a conversation w/ his goldfish. The video shows me clearly conversing as if talking to a person w/ pauses in conversation and everything
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
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