I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
future reference: when you get a text that says "WARNING: EXPLICIT PHOTOS BEING DELIVERED. VIEWERS DISCRETION IS ADVISED." you always open the attached picture.
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
We broke into a construction site had sex on a scissor lift and realized it was a church...tomorrow again??
I always know im high when I can't remember how to pee.
Feel free to drag me back to reality at your convenience
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