there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
yes, we have a friends with benefits thing. i found out he had never 69'd, done anal or had a threesome. i told him i was going to rock his world.
and what did he say?
there were no words. he looked like a kid on christmas morning.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
the worst part was waking up this morning to his skrillex ringtone.....when was it ever okay for friends to let other friends go home WITH GUYS LIKE THAT!?
He's the conductor of the struggle bus
I RODE THAT FINE PIECE OF STRUGGLE BUS
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
Lying naked in bed eating carrot cake of off my bare breasts while watching Family Guy. Tonsilitis isn't all bad!
Like I'm literally drinking whiskey and making a stocking for my cat right now. What. Goes. On.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
Randomize
