Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
Don't say that out loud. People might think I really like to pee on you.
Of course you don't like it. I am the one who likes it.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
where are you?
Hypothermia
She wont be able to take it all. I'll use a shoe horn to get it in if I have to.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I owe you a thank you for last night. Only you could go up to a guy, ask if he likes my boobs, and return later to find us in a full on dance floor makeout sesh. Well played.
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
cool, get new shit, I dnt want the same old if it's my last drink ever
The world isn't ending you idiot. I'll grab beer
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Well I've decided to refuse to conform to society and be naked the rest of the day.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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