I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
Turns out I'm like the Wayne Gretzky of hiding cum. Who knew?
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
Had to belly crawl across the floor to the toilet with my eyes closed to puke my life out without making my hangover worse. Three times.
My goal for tonight is to swipe my debit card through those weird rolls on the back of a big bald guy's head.
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
I'm 11 for 13 getting drunker than the person who's birthday it is
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
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