Screwed.edu
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
MRIs the morning after St. Patty's Day was a poor choice.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
At the hospital, the nurse kept telling me that i either had appendicitis, a tubular pregnancy, or an ovarian cyst. I kept asking if i could just have chlamydia instead...
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
Who shows up to work two weeks ago still drunk and freshly high on blow and gets a promotion and a raise? This girl. Good at business. Super good at being fucked up.
Sometimes I get in situations where I realize they think I'm smarter than I am and then it's just one more thing I have to fake.
I'm about to be a big disappointment.
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
After an orgasm, I always feel the urge to sing A Whole New World from the move Aladdin and I'm not quite sure why.
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
Randomize
