I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
i forgot i changed ur name in my phone to "the situation" so when u texted me i got really excited for a hot second
i thought we decided on me being "the altercation" instead
I want to see you in more than a weed delivering capacity
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
Sometimes I just want to kiss you without you pulling ur cock out and waving it at me
She looks like a hot George Washington...I'm going for it
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
...and that's why girls with IBS don't paint their nails
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
We need to step in, this can't continue. The guy she went home with last night looked exactly like Count Olaf, right down to the unibrow.
Which version tho, Jim Carrey or Neil Patrick Harris?
THAT DOESN'T FUCKING MATTER, YOU DON'T FUCK COUNT OLAF!!!
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
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