he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
This situation is one cop call away from being a Lifetime movie.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
before tonight, i was terrified of what tequila would make me do. but all it did was make me hook up with a movie star. sooo basically tequila's my new fave
Have you ever tried running while drinking 151?
i wish i coudl send you meat via computure
I just realised I've never been sober in my apartment
Can't. I took a Viagra to make sure I wouldnt leave the room so I might actually study.
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
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