dude..why do i always have to pick up the kitty litter after you drink?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
there were more penises there than on chat roulette
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
Ok, so technically yes she wore a red tank top to the stoplight party. But under it was a yellow bra and green panties.
We're like adult pinky and the brain when they decided that taking over the world is unrealistic so they aim lower by trying to get drunk every day.
You grabbed the hot guy that was making out with his girlfriend all night, slurred "I need to borrow this" then shoved your hand down his pants. All because you thought your ex walked into the bar. It was majestic in its shitshowness.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
My parents heard us going at it in their tent. I told my mom it must have been a bear looking for food. I don't think she bought it. She deliberately chose this park because bears haven't been sighted here in years.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
Randomize
