do you know why i have a volvo grill taped to the back of my car?
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
dear roomies, would anyone wanna donate the booze they left in the fridge over break to the "your roomies snowed in and all alone" fund?
Wow, I just sneezed gum out of my nose. Wonder how long that's been up there.
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
I don't like him near enough to give up day drinking AND my prostitute costume
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
So when I walked out, everyone was chanting ONE OF US, someone draped a lei over my head, and then she grabbed my ass and dragged me back into the bedroom. I'd say it was a pretty good night to lose my virginity.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
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