she was wearing a cheetah print one-piece and i slept with her anyway. big mistake.
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
He smothers me through text. I can't even image what he'd be like in person.
It wasn't a wasted relationship. I got road-head in an Escalade. I still keep that with me.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Just found out drinking 6 trays of random shots makes me wake up on a club toilet with my underwear and jeans around my ankles
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
