what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I ended up giving him head, i think it was mostly a defensive move so that he wouldn't discover i was wearing those onesy spanx
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
Just ran into her dad at the strip club. He bought me a dance. I think i found a winner.
I didnt want you guys to know I needed to puke, so I just nonchalantly did in my solo cup and threw it out the window
I was told I sang Taylor Swift's entire discography in between violent bursts of green vomit before falling asleep in the bath tub
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
You want to groom your chest hair? You mean with a little baby chest hair brush? Because that sounds adorable.
Wow. Last night.
I knew you were shit blasted when you called me your "sunflower queen"
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I walked over and you were apologizing to him because you're lady gaga and he's not. The best part was that he forgave you.
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