then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
no one will drink with you if you continue to listen to beyonce
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
I'm going to be fiscally responsible and buy a handle.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Thanks for having me over last night. Sorry I licked rum off your kitchen floor.
Charging my vibrator at work. Pray to god I don't forget it!!!
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
What's the protocol for doing tequila shots at a baseball game when you're chaperoning for a church group? You know, hypothetically.
Randomize
