She just got in car wreck. Wreck sex is better than break up sex
yeah they are definitely having sex in that car. joe just yelled through the window telling them to do the "titanic hand print thing"
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I literally just got propositioned by a sugar daddy.
OUR DREAMS ARE BEING REALIZED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I want a bunch of melted cheese. or a penis. or a penis covered in melted cheese
A guy is going to be inside me and I'm gunna start singing "I am stuck on your penis, cause your penis is stuck in meeee!"
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Blowing lines in the bathroom and trying to get into the mindset of someone who wants to be at work for 12 hours
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I'll start working on my manners when you stop using please and thank you in the bedroom.
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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