I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
stayed up until 6am doing my presentation on buddhist art and the practice of chanting. took shots. did drugs. the powerpoint now includes a sesame street style game (with chicken/puppy clip art), an xzibit music video (and quotes about section eight and eating steaks), and a reference to a german metal band (universe). this is going to be the best presentation ever
I just got a Community College debit card in the mail. My failure has been materialized.
Youre at medical school. Im eating raw cookie dough, pickles, and orange juice. Naked. On a monday afternoon. I clearly make better life choices than you.
I made a tournament bracket for the girls that Im talking with.
I'm kinda amazed by how many times I've texted the word penis today.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
Decided I'm going to wear a shirt that says "I'm sorry" whenever we go back to that fraternity
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
I text the word "masturbation" so much, all it only takes my iPhone to auto-spell it is for me to type "mas".
Randomize
