I went to moterboat her and I started laughing, so I just kinda blew on them... I think I'm gona call that move the sailboat.
had to check his id this morning to remember his name.... i was wayy off
saturday- my day is open, my legs are not. you in?
well apparently not.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
Found a dirty envelope on my seat w ur name and $122.50 written on the front. Nothing inside but what looks like dirty pine needles
Hey, no judgement here...this is the girl that threw up on a box of kittens at the magician's house
i think the penis that was inside of me changed my life
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
Honey, I don't care how "classic you" this is. It's not gonna matter if we can't find you in the morning.
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Also I have uncooked pasta. I was hoping that could get cooked at your place. Don't ask about the circumstances that I came into ownership of uncooked pasta
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
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