I think I'm going to be in trouble for sneaking out last night. My Dad saw me drive up this morning when he was leaving early for work.
What'd you say?
I told him I was sleep driving
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I should have to wear a sign around the rest of the day so everyone knows the shame I feel.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
Just puked in my hallway. Good start to a great night
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
Shit is getting real. I just adjusted my search radius for my dating profile to ANY FUCKING WHERE
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
It's almost 5am and all I can keep thinking is IT'S WHISKEY TIME!!
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