On blowjobs: "If you decide to go there, you finish the job. No complaining." I don't care if it sounds like she's talking about Iraq, I'm in love.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
my dad just paid them in porn...i no longer feel guilty for getting hammered and not helping
Whenever you get off. By "pick me up from work" I mean, "pick me up from a bar by work at your earliest convenience" :)
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
Nope. Turns put my desperate group message for sex didn't work out.
Well you sent it to two guys who were roommates.
They could have rock paper scissored for it. My vagina = the prize.
I SHOULD NOT BE HAVING AN EXISTENTIAL CRISIS OVER PIZZA
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
There's literally not a single picture of him with a shirt on. I can't talk to him without dislocating my eye balls.
I shamewalked barefoot this morning and the Dos Equis delivery guy judged the shit out of me.
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