That's what you get when you play shuffleboard drunk.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
knew it was a bad idea. the look she gave me when i left her roommates bedroom in the morning really illustrated that.
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
laying naked on couch sucking water through straw. i can still feel the orgasm from last night. thank you mdma.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
Dude I just ripped my new jeans climbing out the window so his booty call wouldn't realize I was home. Being his roommate should come with hazard pay
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
Randomize
