I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
I just remembered yelling "they're gonna let me be a lawyer! Me! Why would they do that?"
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
i took my sailor hat off and used it as a vom bucket
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
I confess. I just downed the bottle of saki. And I'm singing phantom of the opera to the dogs. Be glad you're not here for the high notes.
You are not going to get a pat on the back from me for not fucking that 40 year old again.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
It's volleyball. Just do it. You want to look sporty. Save sexy librarian for another day.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
He turned on read receipts specifically so i'd know he was ignoring me.
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Randomize
