spending the week with her family was quite possibly the longest ive ever gone without having a boner
the extent of background information i have on her is minimal, but it will get me in her pants
I have tardy slips. and absent slips if you don't show up to the bar. and trust me, if you are absent there will be a saturday school. I'm teaching you how to drink tonight.
You're so wise. You're like my sexual Grandmother Willow.
She dropped a weight class after every shot I took. I thought I was just drink something magical.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Seriously. I'm like, "Wait, we are actually talking about physics in the middle of sex and its ACTUALLY erotic because you're so fucking intelligent I'm turned on?"
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
Randomize
