I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I am not even close to finishing violently masturbating over that video.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
you were afraid hed set himself on fire so you dumped a box of baking soda on him
Dad had me doing shots of chocolate mint Everclear last night. I've never felt closer to him.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
I've never met a penis that didn't think I was awesome.
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