i just had sex bonerless
i didnt know what to say other then wrong hole.....after that the moment was ruined.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
you want a dog just so you can strap a barrel of hot chocolate around its neck?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
I'm straight up riding in the back of my truck in a bean bag chair right now. Feet propped up and four loko in hand. Glorious.
$1 drinks and Playboy theme. I am never leaving this place
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
