ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
A freshman just referred to Home Improvement as 'tim the tool man show'. People born after 1990 are not people.
just mention it in a side comment sometime today... like oh by the way i have a daughter but um yeah my day was good
Its kinda awkward hearing him say the food taste like ass considering what he did last night.
my fraternity brothers just had an intervention for me. i either have a problem or am just on some next-level shit, im gonna go with door number 2
He just kept screaming "I have democratic immunity" as the cops dragged him into the car.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
forgot to tell you your neighbor walked out of her house this morning just as I was leaving shirtless
Isis wins if we don't have the loudest, kinkiest sex in every part of my house tomorrow
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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