I'd fuck her but she fucked Dusty. And I'm pretty sure he's humped livestock
i may or may not have a boner. what are your thoughts
I want to make Jon&Kate babies with him. Not in quantity, but in percentage asian.
so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
He started making shapes and faces with his cock and balls.... apparently if you wrap the shaft with your balls and turn it 90 degrees to the left it looks like a hamburger
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
Just ate tuna on a frozen waffle because we were out of bread.
This is why you don't have nice things.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
I think I just got propositioned for sex by the lady behind the counter at dunkin donuts
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
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