It's Friday. Sex?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
It's a shame things ended how they did. We were well on our way to transforming from acquaintances with benefits to friends with benefits.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Randomize
