Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
Drunk tip #47: Its better to overestimate how many plastic bottles itll take to urinate in, rather then underestimate.
FYI I'm about to upload a vid of you to facebook of you screaming "SNACK ATTACK" and throwing cheetos at everyone playing pong...
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I could be busy drinking my face off and getting red white and bruised per usual
But we only had three ninja turtles. So everyone that would ask us where Donatello was, we would say "what? He's gone? Shredder is at it again!"
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
I just used Bacardi to dry out poison ivy.
I still don't understand if he's using me to write his resume or if we're dating
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Ive seen a birth plenty of times, pretty awesome like a bear trying to climb out of a volkswagon.
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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