would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
You said you wanted to go to louisiana and get arrested by Steven segal
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
i just called corporate taco bell to ask about the life span of a chicken burrito.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
So my grandma sent me a valentines day present of waterproof mascara, tissues, and chocolate. Way to reinforce that I'll be single and depressed on valentines day. Thanks grandma.
if you are still a virgin by winter break we are throwing an aztec themed sacrifice the virgin party
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
She kept calling herself DJ McDonalds and said she wanted to make some Egg McMusic.
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Would you be so kind as to inform your husband that my truck is forever cursed by mashed potatoes and it's his fault.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
My ultimate hope is that people will hug me, smell me, and therefore think I'm classy.
Randomize
