I'd wear matching sweaters with you
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
It's the building I live in, they were lucky I was wearing clothes at all
Now I can't unsee my hot boss's under-boobs. Monday will be awkward.
Pics or STFU
For what it's worth, I didn't think that hitting you with a crowbar as hard as I did would break your arm like that. You should drink more milk.
I COULD CUT A FUCKING DIAMOND WITH MY RIGHT NIPPLE RIGHT NOW HOLY FUCK
He passed away peacefully doing what he loved to do best. Eating a pound of vodka gummy worms and failing at sex and the city trivia.
I need to stop challenging people to taking off clothes. I win too often
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
