i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
I just made a milkshake without a blender... thats determination
i got a mint flavored condom from wellness day...im kind of tempted to taste it
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Fuck him for salsa, please. I heard its a good recipe.
She makes him look at her naked pics before she sends them to someone she's actually going to fuck. I think this makes him mayor of the friend zone.
You need a sexual gate keeper
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
I finally had to say "that's the hole where I pee" for him to understand.
I had a dream last night that I met Diplo. Now I'm just sad
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
is it sad that a disney movie is making me horny?
Randomize
