He called me an ungrateful bitch because I lauged when he asked me "how do you me and a bed sound?"
Like I should be grateful for the 5 minutes I sit on top of him and stare at the wall.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I just want you and your enormous dick to be my fucking rebound so we can move on with our lives
Who knows. I'd probably only get a makeout with an OTPHJ from her so the return on sexual investment from her isn't looking that great.
You tried to sit down... There was a distinct lack of couch.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
HE LITERALLY JUST PEED IN MY ROOM IDK WHAT TO DO HELP
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
Rum and your dick are involved. You're relying on the unreliable narrator.
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
