I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
This wedding is gonna be a disaster. I already had to turn down one of the groomsmen who offered me $100 to sleep with him next wknd.
Too low?
Yes.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
I cant believe im wasting my plan b experience on this guy. I should have saved it for someone special.
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Just delivered a pizza to a holiday inn and a delivery driver from Me n Ed's walked up at the same time, we both were going to the same floor so we stood in the elevator making small talk about delivery stuff, but a small part of me wanted to deck him, stand over him and shout,"FOR THE HUT MOTHERFUCKER, FOR THE HUT!"
Jesus christ, don't start a pizza delivery gang war.
Randomize
