also i tucked his toothbrush in my shirt. why? i dont know.
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
Woke up under the lifeguard stand sleeping next to mitch our homeless friend. I bartered a summer wardrobe for his last 5 dollar to buy a bfast sandwich. Bring clothes
Okay do all 29 year olds have erectile dysfunction or just the two I've slept with?
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
He's only giving you free adderall so you can focus on his dick.
I just ate your leftovers whilst watching Garfield and Friends. Thank you across the board.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Last night I recall my hair going up in flames. This is evident by the burnt hair smell that is following me around this morning
I'll talk to you in a minute. Gotta put my peacocks away
I love Texas men! TSA agent found my vibrator, nodded approvingly, and said, “You have a nice night, ma’am” with a cowboy accent. I almost made out with him on the spot
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