I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
dont seek real advice from me tonight cause its always gonna end with we should have sex
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
So yes, he's hot, a scorpio, an artist and a perfect cock. I think my bi train just arrived in gay town.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
thanks for celebrating my birthday so severely 2 years ago. i just found your hospital discharge papers in my closet.
anything for my little brother.
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
It's still fucked up that my mom let me think Vanilla Ice was my dad for YEARS just because she thought it was funny.
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