tell your sister to shave her snatch
I'm at the casino and some dude apparently has money in an entire row of slot machines. Its like watching a really intense adult version of wack a mole
i pretended i was deaf and got a girl to come home with me
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
I wanna give a stern lecture to whoever invented pants cause they are hard right now
I left my pipe in my center console with a bowl packed when I took my car to the shop, and when I picked it up the weed had been smoked, but my oil change was only half price.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
He has fairy lights round his bed.. And played Jamie cullum when we had sex... Hes batting for the other team right?
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
Randomize
