Got a toothbrush?
so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
The fact you even thought licking it would fix it boggles my mind
Well it worked
Not the point
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
im still going. this is my new reality. also. dont take glowsticks in the bath. they explode. actually. do. it. its beautiful.
i dont think thats healthy man...
her spring break bucket list included "break into The Swamp, blow him where Tebow has Tebowed"
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
Drink. Fuck. Waffle House. Repeat.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize