what if every blade of grass was a penis?
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
The only good thing about trampolines when you're fucked up is the gushing blood really cleans all the bad coke out of your nose.
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
i just found this napkin with your number on it in my jacket pocket. it reads amy, drawing of a wine bottle and a house
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
Randomize