I no longer want to be the gay that plays in the revolving door at RelationshipDale's like a seven year old with a.d.d.
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
My mom's mothers day present consisted of a card, chocolate and the rose bush I threw up in as I was getting in last night. She loved it.
I can't believe I just compared my penis to a St. Bernard.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Who's the captain of your team? Captain Morgan as usual?
And me
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
never have sex with a mint flavored condom on. my vagina is on fire.
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