watching a tv show about cocaine.. just explained to my mom why the test monkey chose coke over food
Stage 55 clinger. not a typo. I cannot even believe this shit.
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
We are gonna be 90 years old in wheelchairs at the nursing home sitting at computers poking each other and waiting for the other to die so we will have the last facebook poke.
Shotgunned a beer while taking a bath.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Ideas I've had tonight: An entire movie based off the Pixar lamp jumping on stuff.
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
