didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
You're earring is so big in my mouth
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
Yeah.. he went to Tebow in the middle of the crosswalk and got hit by a cab... The yellow ones really don't stop
Come get me...we were walking home and she kept yelling "people need to get run over more!" then she just sat down in the middle of the street saying "it just feels right."
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
My coworker's brand new computer showed up today. He's on vacation for the next week. Brian and I are installing Windows 98 on it.
My car has a permanent smell of sex to it now.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
He gave me an extra phone charger for the other side of the bed the other night. Is that love?
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
Pretty sure I was naked for most of the night.....success
Randomize
