then i got kicked out of the bar for trying to pay my $30 bar tab in sacajawea dollar coins
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
he's dressed up as spiderman, i don't understand why he's crying.
its a long story involving jim bean, an owl, and a knife
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
See this is why people shouldn't jump into marriage. See what type of drunk you're engaged to first.
I had another sex dream about you but it was very dissatisfying. As you finished you starting singing the star spangled banner. then you left. I was not amused.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Ehh, the third backed out. Two still isn't bad. Who gets a bootycall to pick them up from a bootycall's house anyways? Only me.
1. Everyone on the 1st and 3rd floor heard you. 2. The 3rd floor vibrates when we have sex. 3. The 1st floor can hear the bed squeak.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
