So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
i think our first tip to leave should have been when we saw the drinks were coming out of a gas can
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
you're surprised the chick that fucked you for a free cup has herpes. i don't feel bad for you.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
It's a goat... but where the fuck did it come from?
I apologized for the whole SWAT team incident to the roommate.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
Update: the condoms are expired and Canadians are NOT to be trusted!
There's wax on my nightstand, my sheets look like Christmas, and my vagina feels like it got into a fight. All signs of a good night
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