Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
i got so high last night i cried hysterically for like 5 minutes because i dont have any superpowers
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
All I had with a note saying that my shoes are in the ceiling and good luck.
I STRONGLY considered not bringing that guy home with me last night simply because I'd JUST changed my sheets that morning.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm okay with corrupting his young mind.
Ew! He's just a child!
AND I'M GONNA SHOW HIM HOW TO MAKE ONE.
Just found out I own a pyramid. Fuck your good grades, I'm living in my pyramid.
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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