I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
my Econ professor just passed around his phone for us to take a pic of ourselves so he could learn our names. I am currently looking him up on my sex offenders app.
I am waking up at 7am to go to church with him and his family... I better get eaten out tonight.
wait one more day. tuesday is my official "i hit on you and/or we hooked up this weekend" friend request day.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
While he was going down his phone rang and he answered saying I'll call you later I'm eating.
Real friends wouldn't let me shotgun a 4loko after already seeing me trying to eat a girl out through her jeans.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Recycling my beer bottles from breakfast counts for earth day, right?
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Yeah. I made eggs in a microwave. I think that's an accomplishment this week, MOM.
Like I don't care that he's a drug dealer, but I have a problem with his inefficient and ineffective business model.
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
Randomize
