yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
My attorney has my name in her roldex as need to hit that. Im gonna win my case
Reading an example in the GRE study book referencing Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles while wearing TMNT pajamas. *airfist*
omg please tell me you're eating pizza right now too.
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I'm almost too old to be on The Real World but feel like I'm too young to be on The Bachelor and I'm just really confused with my place in life.
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
Um..... I have taste. The only thing I am going to bedazzle is my vagina.
Randomize
