porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
He must be back home now. He moved his box of beer from her porch to ours.
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
I don't hate him I just hate being present to see him consume 80 dollars worth of alcohol and then try to tip people with left over money on a Walmart gift card
Dude, just found out there's a monster in a video game named after me. No more dating nerds.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Hey, sorry for threatening to teabag your mom to death last night
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
It's technically 2016 but since I haven't gone to bed I'm still counting it as 2015, so I'm gonna drink all the alcohol in my house so tomorrow I can become the better version of myself that I'll be for 5 minutes.
Turns out my GF and my FWB have a mutual friend. Yada yada yada, I need to crash on your couch
Randomize
