please don't call me when you're wasted. i don't feel like having any other future arguments at 3:18am about how to hang up your phone. you have a flip phone, you should know regardless of how fucked up you are.
He noticed there was ketchup on his shirt and took it off. Noticed there were people there and put it back on. Then he saw the ketchup again. He must have taken his shirt on and off about 6 times
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
just tripped. bootyfest 2012 will be my engagement party. i saw the whole future. i'm moving to the beach.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
woke up in the back seat of my car with a naked chick and my brother tapping on the window. yup, what a night
I was basically just fingering myself and thinking about space.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
College is really paying off. I am gonna be a great teacher. I just made a grading sheet for weed. This shit got an A.
Randomize
