i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I watched you fall asleep, sitting up, eating a cinnamon roll. You proceeded to wake up...smile at your cinnamon roll, ask it how it got into your hand and then began eating it again. You asked me if you were ridiculous last night, define ridiculous.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
So, I ran into Garrett last night in the laundry room.
Oh really? First post break-up run in. How'd it go? Awkward?
Um. We had sex on a washing machine.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
I'm both gender and math confused
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
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