Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
Please stop bringing your one night stands to Sunday brunch.
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Just made a list of all the guys I've hooked up with. "Roofie tattoo eyelids", "xanex night guy", "rainy concert", "cory blanket" and "naked hottub guy" made it.
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I don't even know if he's actually hot or just hot because he plays hockey..
You did not just say that.
Yeah I knew you'd like him. He's emotionally and physically self destructive.
We would have so much to talk about!
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