their songs make me feel all the things I wanna feel. Ya dig?
and what kinds of feelings would these be?
Happy, horny, occasionally hungry
dear santa what can i do with your candy cane?
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Look, we all have our slutty phases. Mine is just forever.
Oh my god. I'm sorry if i peed on you last nite. I am truly disgusting
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
And if it ever comes down to tax or healthcare benefits we can get married
That's the sweetest thing I've ever heard
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
Why do I have a vague memory of your entire fraternity climbing in through my bedroom window?
He told me I'm a small core of pure evil wrapped up in sweetness, gold, and puppies. He gets me.
That is beautiful
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
Randomize
