bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Woke up to sesame street reruns and a $62 pizza bill. Never again. I mean it this time.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
There was a staple in my grits at waffle house last night. My knees are bruised as hell. And I puked pink all over my bathroom. Gooood night.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
foreskin is a definite game changer
She clicked her fingers, said "here boy!", and pointed at her vagina.
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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