Wow, your whole life is a joke regardless of the fact that its april fools day
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
i dont want to stoop that low. but my dick does.
Pre-game strategy: play thunder by yourself in the shower. Surprisingly, success.
No its cool, because I bought a handle of tequila earlier, in case things went south
Yeah? Well I'm currently predrinking downstairs in my room by myself. Absolut and water with a hint of mint because I'm using the glass I keep my toothbrush in. Fuck, you bitches better get off work soon.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
Wtf are freshmen gonna think when the first thing they see in a pale 6'4 white kid with a mustache yelling ya man and we be liming in a Trinidadian accent
Defrosting my uncrustable with my laptop...Hungover dinner
And the cops are back. At least my pants are on this time
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I just blacked back in and I'm at a kids birthday party in a suit and people are calling me uncle Carl. Never having your homemade liquor again.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
Randomize
