did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
My stripper pole led lights flash with the sound so it's awsome with music
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
His pet bird was perched ON HIS DICK.
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
