Why does lindsey know I was naked in the kitchen?
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
This is going to be one of those "I can only do this high" classes
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I made $130 by ordering two pizzas and charging them $10 a slice. If they weren't so stoned they might have realized they could have just ordered another pizza for $20.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
I'm the one on the patio wearing underwear. Holding a pipe. Pigtail and glasses. Can't miss me.
By talk him into it I assume you mean blow him into it.
it's ok, no one ever died fom being sticky.
i've gotta research that and get back to you.
I told him that if he cleaned the bathroom, I'd blow him. You could eat off the toilet. Seriously, get over here. This is the cleanest you'll ever see it.
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
