I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
I just learned in bio that our sole purpose for life is to have sex.. so your high number is acceptable. its actually lacking.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
He's stoned as shit, eating breakfast cereal and taking a dump. All while listening to dubstep. We may never understand him.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
Starting the day with sex, coffee and productivity are what the founding fathers intended
It wasn't even dirty talking, it was more like the soothing gentle nonsense noises you make when you've spooked a horse.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
we should start a freak-out-the-cashier-contest. I just bought JerseyShore Season2, red high heels, and nipple soothing pads
And I just got smacked in the face by my cat. Apparently I'm supposed to be awake now.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
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