i've decided that sluttiness is like a disease, it can lay dormant in you for years and then one day you go to college and with all the booze and drugs and boys and time on your hands symptoms begin to show then one day BAM you're a huge slut. it's like how izzie had skin cancer and it grew into brain cancer.
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
I just recycled a years worth of liquor bottles. I can feel my alcoholic carbon footprint shrinking
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
That is correct. I did in fact somehow pass out in the tanning booth for over an hour. And yes the attendant did have to open it up and shake me awake.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Wait is it okay if I still want to fuck the whole USA swim team or is that only acceptable during the Olympics?
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I was in a bad mood so I guilted her into giving me $100 on a weekly basis and now I feel bad but I don't know how to tell her I hustled her
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
I think the cashier at 7/11 might be planning an intervention for me.
Randomize
