Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I would blow Magic Johnson for a pack of lucky strikes right now. Post-hiv.
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
You're such a slut.
I prefer opportunist.
He said last night that he'd never had such a great conversation and such a great handjob at the same time.
I decided that Calgary can keep my underwear. They earned it.
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I have a vague memory of you tryin to ride a unicycle through jimmy johns
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I will be wearing a suit out more cuz it has been decided i rage harder with a power tie
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