our cab driver is having phone sex.
It's American, baby! There ain't nothin gross about America.
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
in other news i'm homewrecking via instagram
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
The sad thing was my husband told her its ok to make out with me. Bar Tuesdays will live on regardless.
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Right now I'm drinking out of a gallon water jug & eating a baconator. If you're feeling down, just remember you could be me.
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
Fireball goes down like mother's milk. Btw your housemate is naked
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
